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| 03:19pm 16/09/2008 |
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THE FALL by TARSEM
WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!!!
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| I RULE |
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| 09:35pm 17/07/2008 |
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mood:  invincible! music: We Are the Champions - Queen
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Nothing can prevail against SUPER ROB!!!
Take that all you cold and broken hallelujahs!
BAM!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| "I've just had an apostrophe..." |
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| 02:58pm 22/04/2008 |
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music: Lonesome Dove - Basil Pouledouris
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I can still have my dreams come true. Langston would be proud.
I can have my cake and eat it too. I can plan to do it all and there's nothing wrong with that. :-)
And I'm not talking about winning Shannon back actually. I'm talking about living.
I want to be a missionary, a paramedic, a member of the United States Coast Guard, defender of the country, a writer, a musician, one who works on helicopters, a teacher, and a loving husband and father.
And that is my plan. I plan to do it all. :-D |
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| I HAVE A NIECE!!! |
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| 10:06pm 20/01/2008 |
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mood: excited music: Smile - Nat King Cole
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Please welcome ELYSSA LAEL PARKINSON to the world!!!
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| *Sigh* |
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| 07:53pm 05/09/2007 |
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mood:  so in love... music: Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's
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"Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true
Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side
Oh it's what you do to me
Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew you would
My word is good
Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all
Oh it's what you do to me
A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame
Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you
Oh it's what you do to me" |
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| Stretched a bit thin... |
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| 08:25pm 27/08/2007 |
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mood:  worn out music: Lovers of Loving Love - The Aquabats
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I'm worn out. Nose surgery last week. Shannon and her family stayed for Education week and left yesterday. Kind of glad to have the house back to normal, (if that exists anymore???), but definitely wouldn't mind any abnormality if Shannon could stay here. She should move here. Definitely.
Also worn out from having anxious, weird dreams last night, getting my nose stuff taken out today, (glad to be able to breathe, but it kind of hurt when they took the stuff out, and my sinuses kinda hurt now!), and working with Ben for the first time today, a man born with cerebral palsy who lives across the street. It’s paying 7 or 8 an hour (I don’t remember) and I think it will be good for me. It was just uncomfortable and I dread the first time I have to deal with a bathroom problem. :-/ I should be more benevolent. Hopefully this will help.
I’m tired. I hope to get my head on straight soon. I have exciting, very positive things coming up in my life. All difficult, but all well worth it. I must just be patient and wait for the right time for each of them. More on that later. |
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| Beagle... |
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| 06:47pm 16/08/2007 |
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mood:  wistfully happy music: Not While I;m Around - from Sweeney Todd
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Man, what a freakin cute dog! I knew him as "Jack" the beagle, but his name is actually "Remington." I'm glad that he's with his owners now, but I was actually really secretly hoping we could keep him. SO CUTE. Man. What an awesome dog. *sigh* Someday, I think I want a beagle. |
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| Wowwwwww.... |
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| 11:54pm 04/08/2007 |
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mood: Amazed... music: Do You Hear the People Sing...
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Wow... The play was great! They did an excellent job. Many talented kids! Not all of them... The kid who played Enjolras sucked. I didn't believe a word he said or a motion he performed. And he was flat about half the time.
But most of the other principles were great! Valjean, Marius, Javert, Fantine, the Thenardiers, COSETTE...
OH... My... Gosh... Shannon was soooooooo good! I already knew she was talented. I knew she had incredible potential. But still, seeing her brilliance, her beauty, her precision, and hearing her gorgeous voice, her beautiful vibrato hitting all those incredibly high notes... I was really amazed even though I already knew she was great. She was sooooooooooooooo brilliant! She sounded like an angel! Every move, every gesture, every facial expression with purpose! And she actually made me care about the character! I have NEVER cared about Cosette in any of the productions I've ever seen before. Those Cosettes all seemed... too affected, too false, too phony. Shannon was the real deal! She and the kid who played Marius... they were great together! (I did feel a pin-prick of jealousy when they kissed, but I got over it fast because they were really good and SHE WAS SO FREAKING BRILLIANT!)
Man. I cannot praise her enough. She was wonderful1 |
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| Les Mis!!! |
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| 12:26pm 02/08/2007 |
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mood: excited music: Do You Hear the People Sing...
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On an entirely different note from earlier, tonight is the opening night of Les Miserables!!! To the cast: break a leg! Hope everything goes smoothely.
I can't wait to see it this weekend!!! Particularly that hot girl playing cosette... I hear she has the voice of an angel! ;-) |
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| Gruesome Morning... |
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| 11:53am 02/08/2007 |
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mood:  ouch! music: In My Life - Shannon Eileen Majdali
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So at work this morning, with my new SOG trident knife, I set out to cut open a bundle of lumber for a customer. The knife is very large and sharp, and when it appeared to have trouble cutting through the plastic band at first, that remedied VERY quickly and it cut through the band fast and deep into my left thigh.
At first I thought I had just knicked myself a little bit, and I even tried to play it off as to not bother the customer. Then when I saw red spreading around the new hole in my jeans I thought, "Oh..." and looked inside the hole at the new hole in my leg. I have never seen anything quite like it. It appeared to be about 2-3 inches wide and 1/4 of an inch deep, (I found out at the clinic that at it's deepest point it was about 3/4"...), and I could see the layers of skin and fat clearly. And it goes without saying that the thing was bleeding profusely.
Now recently I've been getting hurt a lot at work. Nothing too serious, mind you, but definitely a lot of pinched fingers and bashed hands/feet/head. Lately when I've been getting hurt I haven't even said anything, let alone swear words. The shock of this incident was a bit much for me to handle, however, and I let a few slip...
It took 4 internal stitches and 10 external, and the doctor said that it was a very clean cut and it close up nicely. I just barely missed cutting muscle too, which I am grateful for. That is one SHARP knife! I barely even felt it.
So for the record, I feel like a complete moron, I'm glad that it's not worse, that I didn't hit a vein or artery, or cut through muscle, I can resume work immediately, (though I thought I'd take today off), and I won't be using that knife at work again.
Man. I need to be MORE CAREFUL. |
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| Things do happen for a reason. |
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| 10:19pm 11/07/2007 |
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mood:  thoughtful music: My Sharona - forgetwhotheyare
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I'm not strong enough. I feel that is a big part of why I couldn't get into aviation yet, Shannon and I needed space, my car got totaled, and why I keep getting hurt at work. I'm definitely being tested by something greater than I.
There are obviously other reasons too. Good reasons. Like, I need to spend time with my family, Shannon and I are both young and need to figure some things out and grow up, and I couldn't afford my car or rent anymore. (Also if I had traveled out here when I did by car I could've been caught up in terrible fires! So there's another reason why it's good I don't have my car anymore.)
All these negative things have positive sides to them. Blessings in disguise, if you will. It's interesting to see God's hand in my life. I am now trying my best to focus on the positive aspects of these things.
Don't get me wrong. I would love it if I could go into the Coast Guard soon. I would love it if Shannon would call me up and say, "I miss you, come back to me soon!" I would love it if I had a car to drive around so I didn't have to walk so much.
But these things will mend in time. I look forward to them and will try to make the best of the present.
Everything that seems frustrating like waiting, physical pain, uncool people at work (and seemingly all around this wierd state,) and all other such stressors are minor and will be but a glimpse in the grand scheme of things.
Robert Ikey Starks is learning to cope. Thank you all. |
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| 12:08am 10/07/2007 |
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I resolve to be better to my family. |
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| 09:38pm 09/07/2007 |
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mood:  blah music: Hotel Rwanda that my bros are watching
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I'm not doing a good job with focusing on the positives, like I wrote about yesterday. I must try harder. |
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| Things that are not easy to do... |
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| 09:22pm 08/07/2007 |
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mood: thoughtful music: Ave Maria - Chanticleer
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I'm really irritated with a stupid person right now. So I'm going to try to write something positive so that I feel better.
I was thinking today, in church, as I listened to some of the lessons. This is what I got out of them.
I think it's better to try and be optimistic and see the good things around, even when things in general seem so bad. This seems to become difficult when you start to become disillusioned with the way the world works, humanity, even people close to you, and even yourself. As you become older and have more experiences, you begin to realize how incredibly fallible we people are. We are subject to selfishness, carelessness, jealousy, pervertedness, greed, etc. etc. etc… People kinda suck.
Over time you realize that people you always had complete faith in can and will let you down. You realize that you will not only let yourself down, but you will let others who are dear to you down as well. You realize that people generally have deep roots in being evil toward each other. Sometimes they don’t even realize what they’re doing.
You might have someone you trust hurt you a lot, or let you down in a big way. You might have somebody else you trust who, it turns out, is very dishonest in business. You might have someone you trust who is a molester, or a murderer.
People can really suck. You can never really be 100% safe from hurt from any person. Even yourself.
“Now where is the optimism?” you might ask.
The optimism comes from looking for the good things in people, trying your best not to lose faith in those who are important to you, caring about people, even when they’re wrong, and forgiving people who do you harm. Always hope for and look for the best, and be ready to recover from the worst.
I realize that this is no easy task. But I don’t want to give up on anybody who really means something to me. People in my ancestry (and fairly recent ancestry) have done some unspeakably bad things. Some of them are now dead and gone and some of them are still here. But I don’t want to give up on any of them.
I realize you must do your best to protect yourself and your loved ones from harm, but if you want to ever be happy, you must also do your best not to hold grudges, especially when it comes to people that will matter your whole life, like your family.
Forgiveness isn’t easy. Neither is looking on the bright side of things when everything seems so bleak and dark. But it seems to me that most worthwhile things are not easy. And being happy and hate-free are certainly worthwhile. I am going to do my best to work on seeing more of the good things in life, and forgiving people that do me and others I care about wrong.
And as to the person who I mentioned at the beginning: that's probably a good starting place for being more forgiving, even though I don't expect this person will accept my apology and forgive me for the things that I've said and they probably won't feel too thrilled that I'm forgiving them.
I guess that’s about it for now.
Hopefully you all will be able to forgive me for my self-righteousness. I just really felt like writing how I was feeling. |
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| Going home... |
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| 10:34am 05/07/2007 |
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mood:  hopeful music: Evacuee - Enya
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I'm going home to stay with my family for a while. I'm leaving tomorrow. Aside from needing to get away from bills and this endless barrage of bad happenings, I have not seen them in a really long time. I quite took them for granted when I was living with them before, so I'm going to try to take advantage of this opportunity. I'm going to be the best Robert I can be, starting with being the best brother and son possible. :-)
I'm going to try really hard to figure out a way to get back here at the beginning of August for Shannon's production of Les Miserables. Don't ANYBODY miss it if you can help it! It's going to be incredible, and I'm really looking forward to seeing it.
Well, take care all of you here in California. Not sure how long my stay in Utah will be, but I'll be seeing you. |
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| June of 2007 |
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| 12:55pm 30/06/2007 |
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mood:  gloomy music: The Good Life - Weezer
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As this month comes to a close I feel I should share a few thoughts on it. A few gripes, if you will. Feel free to comment or not read any further.
June, June, June... The sixth month in 2007. I was feeling so confident with my plans. I was progressing well in areas of self improvement that are hard to work on, and I was feeling ready to move on to even more specific areas, to sort of fine tune myself. I guess this whole ordeal (the month of June) proves that I wasn't as solid as I thought because I don't feel ready to move on anymore. I feel depressed, my plans thwarted for the time being.
1.) I was (and still am) madly in love with Shannon and was ready to commit to her for an eternity. I'm sure that sounds creepy to lots of you, but you don't know what we've been through together. And you don't know how much she means to me because I am incapable of expressing it with words. So, June, why did things have to turn all haywire now!?
Obviously I would rather Shannon be honest about her feelings. I don't want to cause her any pain, I want her to be strong and stand on her own two feet, and I want her to be on the same page with me before we are 100 percent committed, for both our sakes.
But all the same, this was a huge, crushing blow. I understand pretty well now how she must have felt when we weren't on the same page before. When it was me who wasn't ready to commit. I can only hope and pray that I have the strength and will to do what's best for her and let her go as much as she needs me to.
I love you, Shannon. With all my heart.
2.) I was ready to move forward with this Coast Guard business. I was on my flight physical (the final step before talking contracts and dates) and was looking at a tentative ship out time in early August after Shannon's play. So, June, you horrible, back-stabbing month, why on earth did you have to tell me I have nasal polyps and am incapable of popping my eardrums on command? (They call that action a valsalva.)
It makes sense that I have them. I've had some annoying colds and nose infections for a really long time now, and my left nostril has had a really blocked passageway for I don't know how long. If they can treat these stupid things then maybe I can breathe better from now on.
It just really bothers me that this too had to happen now, only a few days after I was struck with the Shannon blow. It's absurd! Not one, but both of my two main desires in life taken out of reach for now. "Everything I need is denying me... Everything I want is taken away from me..."
Hopefully we'll be able to treat these stupid pieces of polyp crap soon and I can move on, move out, give Shannon the space she needs, and get going on my life plan.
3.) I was told earlier this month at work that there would be no problem extending me to full time, that I could make more money and be able to pay my bills, maybe move into a department in the store and get full time hours and a raise at the same time.
"Sure, Rob. No problem. You're a hard worker. We can help you out man."
Apparantly it was all bullshit. Apparantly I'm probably doing too good of a job where I'm at as a loader to be moved to another department. My immediate boss is willing to extend my hours, but I need time to deal with problem #4. (which I'll get to soon...) But anyways, bottom line, I don't get what I was promised, I don't get more money even though I work really hard.
Thanks, June. Thanks an effing lot!
4.) Ah... now we come to the diahrrea icing on this wonderful shit cake called June 2007. My car. It's totalled. Whose fault was it? Not mine. When the entire lane came to a screeching halt because there was a blind man crossing Lomita Blvd randomly, I stopped in time. I didn't hit the car in front of me. At least not until the 4runner behind me sodomized my corolla, sending my back windshield all over the freaking place. That was when I was sandwiched in between the two trucks.
Thank gosh that Shannon and I are okay. (For the time being that is... My lawyer says that injuries can show up much later sometimes.) Thank gosh that the blind man was not run over. Thank gosh that I don't have to pay for the car or insurance anymore... Wait! NO!!!! I still have to pay for the car (that I can't use at all!) until the insurance issues are settled. And when I tried to deal with Allstate they kindly informed me that they are not legally obligated to settle the matter until 40 days after the accident, which tells me they want to take their sweet time. Now I've got a lawyer. Hopefully this will all be taken care of soon.
This Month has been horrible. I've had to take blow after blow after blow. I'm not even going to go into the problem my parents and brother have now. That's for another day.
I want these things soooooo bad! I'm not going to give up on them. I'm going to pursue my dreams until I freaking have them. That's all there is to it. Life's brutal so I am just going to have be tough back to get what I want.
I love Shannon and I love helicopters. And I love the idea of the Coast Guard paying for my training. And I love the idea of saving people's lives.
I will realize my dreams someday.
I just really felt the need to write about this and get out some frustration. Again, comment if you wish. |
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| Why Shannon is the most wonderful, awesome, and incredible person in the world... |
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| 11:30pm 26/06/2007 |
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mood: So Lovesick... music: Come What May
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The first time I ever saw Shannon she was dressed as Catwoman at an LDS Halloween dance. I was dressed as a nerd and I was in fun party mode, (Which I haven't been in in freaking forever! I'll have to try it again sometime.) She was very, very cute and fun looking. But I was busy having fun with my friends, the Gaillos Locos, aka the Manclub, aka JCARCAS. We had a blast, but I never talked to the awesome looking Catwoman. Later that night I found out that she was 14. I was shocked immensely, and because of a weird (and kind of backward) sense of propriety I had at the time, I was relieved that I hadn't danced with her. I didn't want to look like a perv going after somebody "so much younger than me."
The first time I heard Shannon speak was in acting class. She stood out for a number of reasons. She was tall with a very becoming figure, she was one of the only white (1/4 arab!) girls in the class, and she was very fun to watch! She was funny, shifting her weight around on her feet (but in an attractive way, if that makes sense... almost cat-like) and talking slowly. She put emphasis on weird syllables, speaking along with the shift of her weight. It was childlike and strangely attractive. She said, "Hi... I'm ShAAAnnon, and I went to Fleming...!" I think she was either wearing a skirt or camouflage pants. To be honest, I'm not sure exactly which it was that first day, but I do distinctly remember seeing the skirt, the camo pants, and her big "Rave Pants" often, and enjoying her strange, free, and awesome style.
This was a girl that I should have JUMPED at the chance to be friends (and more) with. At the time I already had a girlfriend and friends though, and I've always been lame and exclusive (working on being less lame), so I wasn't overly friendly with her. I do, however, remember how freaking fun she was to do scenes with. She came up with the most outrageous ideas. We pantomimed together and she thought it would be funny to pretend to "show some leg" to "stop traffic" so we could cross a "heavily traveled street". In her scenario the cars wouldn't stop for her and would almost run her over, but when I, the only boy in our group, "showed some leg" traffic would come to a screeching halt. This bit of irony was hilariously genius and brought the class to a roaring laughter. To put it like Jack Black, "Absolutely brill."
I saw her at another LDS dance later on, and was surprised to find out she was Mormon too. She was too cool, fun, and sensual to be Mormon. I didn't talk to her much, (still with the girlfriend, she was even at the same dance), but we talked to each other a little more after that. She was funny, cute, and insecure. But even after I broke up with my girlfriend I still didn't talk to Shannon much. My strange sense of impropriety bothered me again when I made the connection that she was the Catwoman from a year earlier. And in the theatre class (which later turned into an art class) I spent too much time talking with another girl (who I thought was deep and a good friend but she turned out to be neither) and didn't spend much time talking to the incredible girl right under my nose.
But still the same, we did talk occasionally, and I found out some cool things about her, namely she liked Danny Elfman. :-) We watched Nightmare Before Christmas during the theatre class one time and we hung out together, playing War with her awesome anti-smoking playing cards, and talking about how much Burton and Elfman rock.
I was so lame. I had to be in like with some girl, and I fixated on somebody else, who didn't like me. Thank goodness she didn't! Not because the other girl's a bad person or anything, but she's certainly not my type, and soon after I got over that silly mess, I was be dealt the best card I've ever had in my life.
I admit, I was a bit calculating, (though on a somewhat subconcious level... I've always been good at lying to myself unfortunately), when I asked her to act in the movie I planned to make. We had our awesome date, where we had lunch "in character", went and saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and genuinely enjoyed each other's company, while she waltzed around in the skimpiest black dress in the world. Oh My Gosh she looked and smelled great! Lovespell, tiny black dress, gorgeous legs, super charming smile, contageous, beautiful laugh... this girl had me hooked. And I liked it. We had set wonderful traps for each other.
Then when we "rehearsed" the kissing scene later that spring break, she did something that no girl EVER did to me before. She figuratively and literally swept me off my feet. I literally lost balance and fell in love with this freaking awesome girl!
The rest, as they say, is history.
I'll admit, we've had our ups and downs. This relationship has been through a lot of strain and heartache to go along with the joy and excitement. I did terrible things to her heart. Things that I was too stupid and too self absorbed to consider important. I was a collossal fool for teenage milleniums.
Over time I have changed. It's been really difficult changing solid habits and ideas. But it has certainly been worth it. I like the direction I'm going in now, and I owe a tremendous amount of gratitude to Shannon for, well, to put it bluntly, kicking my ass into shape. I feel very badly that I hurt her so many times like I did. But I feel very grateful to her for looking past the lame side of Robert and helping to pull out my good side.
Okay! I don't want to know how many people skipped part or all of that poorly-written, unedited outline of our relationship. I don't really care. I just felt the need to get that all out in the open.
NOW I come to the REAL POINT of all this.
Shannon is an incredible person. She has SO MANY wonderful, desirable qualities in a person, and girl.
She's smart. I swear, I freaking love that girl's brain. She learns new things and uses them. She questions the system and takes a moral stand. And she freaking KNOWS PEOPLE. She understands them and interacts with them well.
She's empathetic. She understands the way that people feel, and when she gives you advice you can tell she knows from experience and observation, and she flipping knows what she's talking about. She truly has compassion for the innocent, the personally injured, the defenseless and humble creatures in the world.
She's freaking hilarious. She has a wicked sense of humor, a contageous, harmonious laugh, and damn good comedic timing. She laughs at good jokes, and tells them well herself.
She's BEAUTIFUL. She has gorgeous, luminating eyes, a heartbreakingly pretty smile, lovely, defined features, a super-mega-ultra-sexy-hot body, (legs, hips, bust... curves in all the right places), long, beautiful locks, slender, feminine hands, feet, and toes... But it doesn't stop there. Not only are her physical attributes those of the most beautiful woman in the world, but the way that she uses her body is to die for! When she dances you wonder how in the world a person can look like that. When she walks she swings her hips like it's NOBODY'S BUSINESS! (And she doesn't even try to!) When you offer her your right hand to shake, she offers you her left in the cutest little gesture on the face of the planet! When she smiles and laughs it's heaven. When she sleeps she looks like an angel. When she trips and falls she does it with more grace than a thousand ballerinas!
She's creative. She can act, sing, dance, break hearts with her beauty, come up with wonderful stories and ideas... She would make the best person in show biz. She would be sought after in the business and loved by her fans.
A really amazing thing about all this is that she doesn't even know these things about herself. She's not full of herself at all. I wish she had more confidence, but I guess that just has to come with time.
There are more things I could say, but won't because some are too personal and some would be too embarrassing and I've already gone on for quite a while now.
What I really want to say is that I think Shannon is PERFECT. I know, I know... nobody can be perfect, everyone is human and makes mistakes... But Shannon is perfect to me.
No matter what anybody tells me, no matter what happens, I LOVE SHANNON and she is the perfect friend/person/girl/woman/future wife/future mother/future actress/future web designer/companion/advisor/support/world/everything good, and she deserves the world.
No matter how much worse my life gets, no matter what job I have, what car I drive (or don't drive), where I live, what I do, how much money I make, who thinks I'm a complete idiot, who thinks I'm smart, whatever... Shannon is the most wonderful, awesome, incredible, beautiful person in the world. |
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| Setbacks... |
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| 10:02am 21/06/2007 |
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mood:  pink barf music: Invincible - Muse
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I've been temporarily disqualified from aviation.
I have growths (non-cancerous) in my nose that make it difficult for me to pop my ears on by plugging my nostrils and blowing into them.
I am going to make an appointment in a couple weeks to see an ear/nose/throat specialist who will then probably make an appointment for surgery which will probably happen in about 6-8 weeks. Then, when I recover from that and can pop my ears on command, my passed physical will be sent to Washington to be signed by the head military avionics medicine guy.
Providing that all that goes well, after that guy signs me off, I should have an idea of when I can go into the Coast Guard.
Let me just get out a few things right now...
1. I am REALLY frustrated with this delay. It freaking sucks. I can't make my plans yet, and I feel like breaking something or punching somebody in the face because I was really looking forward to being able to make plans. I'll get over it, it's just a setback, it's probably not going to be a permanent DQ. It's just bloody frustrating right now.
2. I have told some people about and Shannon has told some people about a "break" that we were going to take. I misunderstood what Shannon wanted for one thing, and we have also revised our plan a little bit. We are not going to be breaking up at all, or dating other people, or anything like that. We are just going to be hanging out with other friends and not with each other more often than we did that before. If you want further details you'll have to ask Shannon or me and we'll tell you more if we feel like it. Just KNOW that Shannon and I are in love with each other and we don't want to split up. We're just both going to be a bit more independent for a while. |
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| I qualify for the military... |
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| 12:34pm 04/06/2007 |
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mood: weird
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I had my military entrance physical last Thursday. Going to the MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) was like a nightmare where you're trapped in a hospital/DMV. For NINE HOURS. Those people hate their jobs sooooo much. I probably would too.
I hope that if I have to go there again, my stay will be very brief. At least it won't be sitting there waiting to get briefed, (at which briefing I actually peed my pants a teeny weeny bit because I was holding it so long!), waiting about 20 minutes to get blood drawn, (thank goodness they got it on one try!), waiting for another 20 minutes to have my eyes checked, (they're fine, but they wouldn't tell me if they were better than 20/20), waiting for another 20-30 minutes to get my ears checked, (the hearing test was confusing! but apparently I got it alright...), waiting another 30 minutes to pee into a cup, (Even though I took a bathroom break during the briefing I still had MORE THAN ENOUGH piss for the cup), waiting bloody FOREVER to get a health history interview/hernia check, (Drop yo' pants, boy! 0-o ...), then waiting for another eternity to strip down to my underwear and get my height and weight checked, then waiting another half an hour, (IN MY SKIVVIES, IN A COLD ROOM!), to parade around with about 15 other guys, doing strange physical exercises, (the military is so GAY!), and lastly, waiting around for another 20 minutes to get every single finger printed and put into the government's network. (I better not commit a crime ever!) Man. Hooray for run-on sentences. But anyways, I qualify for the military and hopefully I will never have to do that crap again.
Now I have to get a flight physical scheduled, probably sometime this or next week. I believe I have to give more blood and piss and maybe get a cat scan. And then at a follow-up appointment I have to get interviewed about the results.
After all this crap is done, then we can start talking entry dates and other such things. I'm pretty excited to get to that point. |
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| Update on my life... |
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| 04:29pm 16/05/2007 |
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mood: anxious music: Pan's Labyrinth theme
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I'm tired and a bit stressed, but at least I had a good orientation day at Lowe's. They're really professional and gung-ho about customer service. I'll have to get used to that. I have to say that it will be good to have all the training they can provide me on a resume.
I'm part time and I think I can expect to get about 32 hours a week. At $9/hour this is not quite going to cover all my ridiculous bills. Being an independent adult really sucks when you have to work crappy entry-level jobs. Hopefully I can find something to cover the expenses gap soon.
Well, I'm very excited about a few things that are going on in my life right now.
I am looking into going into the Coast Guard to pay for school and job-skills-training and to eventually pay for helicopter pilot training. It looks like a pretty sweet deal in general. Just a lot of time away from home, either for training, or on assignments out on a boat. I think the pros may outweigh the cons. Still looking into it.
Also I am planning to get married to Shannon sometime next Summer in the LDS Temple in LA. We had our third year anniversary in April and we are both very committed to a life together at this point. :-) We've been looking at wedding ring options and have some really neat ideas for Shannon's engagement ring. I'm in love and I'm very excited! We just need to figure out when I'm going to go into the Coast Guard and we can plan accordingly.
A lot of that depends on whether or not Shannon can come with me for my apprenticeship training and my technical training after boot camp. Boot camp is 8 weeks after which I would be sent to an air base for 3-4 months worth of apprenticing, then moving on to North Carolina for training in Aviation Electronics. (I'd be going in as an AET, or Avionics Electronic Technician, then trying to get good reports and other things to improve my chances of being selected as a helicopter pilot.)
In all this craziness, obviously I would prefer that Shannon would be with me as much as possible. But the recruiter wasn't able to answer that question right away and he's looking into it now. So that will sort of help us determine when I would go in if this is what we decide to do.
( Warning... Vented frustration at various woes ahead... read at the risk of being annoyed at my whining... )
If you read all that, or if you didn't, there's no cause for alarm. I know I'll be fine and I'll probably even feel better tomorrow.
To leave you with a lift, here are some quick movie reviews.
Pan's Labyrinth - EXCELLENT! One of my new favorites! Visually and morally spellbinding. Be prepared for harsh, depressing material though.
Children of Men - Almost as good! Again, be prepared for depressingness.
The Holiday - Awesome! One of the best date movies I've ever seen. Made Shannon and me very happy.
The Illusionist - Superb! Visually intriguing and with a story that will trip you out! This also made Shannon and me smile.
Mary Poppins - Watched this the other night for the first time in a while. LOVED it! Nostalgia and magic for all! (Unless of course you didn't watch it as a kid, or you're just lame.)
(I don't, however, recommend Happy Feet. Yuck.) |
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| Commitment |
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| 03:47pm 20/04/2007 |
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music: Stockholm Syndrome - Muse
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I want to fly helicopters. I am willing to cut my hair and make other sacrifices for it. I am even willing to join the military to do it.
I haven't decided yet, mind you. I probably won't for a while. But the Coast Guard is an option (at least if I pass the ASVAB and a physical). It would pay for school. It would pay for helicopter training and give me flight time (if I were able to work my way into becoming an aviator). It would give me health, dental, and life insurance. It would teach me discipline.
It would also require a commitment of four years. (That's if I just go in as an enlisted guy and don't become a pilot. The service commitment would extend once I became a pilot.) I would have to live where they needed me, report when and where I'm told, obey orders, and make sure not to flake on anything EVER.
I have a very strong desire to be a superior professional helicopter pilot and I am willing to sacrifice a lot to do it.
So I'm thinking about what I should do.
In this last year I have learned that commitment is necessary if you want to get the things you desire in life.
I am ready to start being committed. Committed to become the person I'm meant to be. Committed to making my dreams come true.
I'm going to take the ASVAB sometime soon. I'll let you know what I decide to do when I decide. |
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| 11:45pm 17/04/2007 |
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mood:  depressed music: So Real - Jeff Buckley
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The last 48 hours have been awful.
Biggest shooting in US history at VA Tech.
My hours at work were cut by 16 so now I'm working 29 a week.
My loan to go to helicopter school was denied.
I figured out that I personally offended my boss and he keeps chewing me out for about anything he can think of. Basically I need to quit as soon as possible. I need another job first though.
I wish I could sleep for a month and wake up with a new job around people who weren't angry all the time. |
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| I am in love. |
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| 05:21pm 04/03/2007 |
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mood: amazed music: Grace-Buckley
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Wow. That was unreal. It was like a dream. A dream come true. Literally. I’ve been dreaming about it for the past month or two. Oh man. When we lifted off the ground and I got the sensation that I was being held up by two blades rotating on a pivoting axis my heart skipped a few beats. And then when we got out of the Torrance airport I couldn’t help but say aloud, “Unreal…” Taking the controls I was a bit nervous. I never quite got over that for the whole hour, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I enjoyed it so much in fact, I can’t wait to get up there again. Unfortunately that’s probably not going to be for a while. But wow! I know what I want to do now. All that is left now is to do it. That is going to be really hard but whatever it takes I will manage. I’ll worry about that tomorrow. Today I’m stoked. I’m in love. I have a dream to shoot for now.
And one of the best things of all, I have loved ones to share it with. I have a family that cares greatly for me. My dad paid for this test flight out of his own pocket. I know he can’t help me too much with the actual schooling and everything, nor would I want him to. But he has been supportive of me in everything that I have wanted to do. When I told him I wanted to be a fighter pilot when I was a kid, he talked to his fighter pilot friend and got him to take my dad and I up in a little piper airplane. I even got to take the controls at the age of 11. When I told him I wanted to get into film he talked to his past colleagues at the LA Air Force Base who did film. When I said I might want to be a teacher he told me what he knew about that. When I expressed an interest in helicopter piloting he called everybody he knew who had any aviation experience. He has been very helpful to me and I’m grateful to have a dad who cares so much. He has never pushed me too hard in one direction. He’s always let me make my own decisions. He has simply spent his time and efforts to keep me informed. He’s awesome and I love him.
And I have an incredible girlfriend/future wife who I can share this dream with as well. She wants me to fulfill my dreams and will settle for nothing less than the best in me. I am excited about life again and I am double in love.
Today rocked. I will always remember today as the day I fell in love with flying. |
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| I can fly. Serious. |
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| 07:33pm 28/02/2007 |
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mood: excited music: "Mio in the Land of Faraway" score
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I'm going up on Sunday. At noon. Hell yes. |
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| "Sometimes I wear an eye patch because I'm so creative!" |
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| 07:59pm 21/02/2007 |
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mood: excited music: "Alligator Wine" performed by Jeff Buckley
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Valentine's Day was delayed and awesome. Shannon gave me the legacy edition of the Grace album. I LOVE IT!!! Jeff Buckley is so awesome. I've been very much enjoying the album ever since. I highly recommend it to anyone who likes good, beautiful music.
( Time for a tangent... )
The day after Valentine's Day I went to Arizona with Shannon's family for a fireworks convention. It was such a blast! It was hard on my wallet, but I'll recover... eventually! But seriously, it was incredibly fun and incredibly romantic. In fact Shannon and I had one of the most romantic moments of my life out there... We were under the London Bridge (reconstructed and turned into a signature resort in Arizona) feeding some ducks bits of ice cream cones, and this man started playing the saxaphone: a beautiful piece that resonated amazingly due to the wonderful acoustics under the bridge. I gave him a dollar (which supposedly will go to Toys for Tots) and asked what song it was. It's called "From a Jack to a King". I will have to check it out sometime. But anyways, it felt like we were in a romantic moment in a movie together. It was really special. :-)
Now I'm back and working my butt off at the fish shop. It's interesting work. Maybe, just maybe, someday I'll be rich enough to afford a salt water tank myself.
Oh by the way, I WANT TO BE A HELICOPTER PILOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm very excited about it. I'm going to schedule a test flight sometime soon and I'm going to try to get ahold of some helicopter pilots to get an insider's perspective on it. But I think it's really what I want to do. :-D
Now then, I'll try to keep this thing updated more often. |
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| A little bit of what's going on... |
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| 11:59pm 18/01/2007 |
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mood:  tired music: 16 Going on 17 - Sound of Music
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After my dad showed me how to organize my search well, I hit the streets hard looking for a job. I made a lot of contacts, tried a lot of things I normally wouldn't have, got gutsy, called Shannon's uncle Jeff, (who doesn't like me because I'm dating her), and got a job with him. It seems like a decent job and is going alright. I'm making the same hourly wages as my last job and I can have 45 hours a week Jeff said. Sounds good to me. Hopefully his dislike of me will not cause any problems, (so far he's been nice enough), and maybe his dislike of me will grow into a like or at least a neutrality.
Good luck to Josh in his quest for Spec Ops in the military. I hope all goes well.
Speaking of Josh, Shannon and I went on a double date with him and Krystal. We ate at Chili's, which was to die for, and then we went and saw the Spanish movie Pan's Labyrinth. Oh My Gosh. What a sad, beautiful, horrific, enchanted, incredibly imaginative, shockingly violent movie that was. It was amazing. I just wish that it were two different movies instead of one. The magical part would make a wonderful movie on its own and the realistic part would make a very harsh but powerful message by itself. I think I liked it a little better than everyone else did. I loved it. But I must admit, (along with Shannon), that it wasn't what I expected. I would recommend this movie to anyone who has the stomache for it. (It's not just violence and gore. Be prepared for major depression too.) It was even better than Guillermo Del Toro's other film that I like, The Devil's Backbone. Both of them have a similar tone. Pan's Labyrinth is just much more potent.
Other than that, looking forward to D&D tomorrow night. My new work schedule permits me to play because I get off at 6! |
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| I'm an UNCLE! |
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| 02:21pm 13/01/2007 |
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mood:  awake music: Combat Baby - Metric
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My sister Chrissy had a baby on Dec. 27th of 2006. Alec Stephen Parkinson is his full name. He's healthy and happy and check out the family resemblence.
This is Chrissy and her baby boy.
This is Chrissy and her little brother. (That's me. See the family resemblence???) |
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| These honest personal things make me uncomfortable! |
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| 11:59pm 30/11/2006 |
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mood: contemplative music: "Ben" - Crispin Glover from "Willard"
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Pick ten people on your friends list and say something honest about them. Under no circumstances are you to answer any questions or give any hints about who these people are.
Note: In this case I'm picking people on my friend of list as well since I don't have many people on my friends list.
( And the truth shall set you freeeeeee... ) |
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| Pain |
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| 07:11pm 28/11/2006 |
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mood:  hungry music: "The Sand" - The Hippos!
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I'm sore from working for Shannon's mom in the Majdali's backyard. I got rid of the debris left on their back patio from when they expanded one of their bathrooms. Let me tell you, plaster is HEA-VY!!! I'm going to sleep well tonight! She's paying me 12 bucks an hour. I must say, I feel like I earned this $24! Sheesh! But it's a good thing because I'll have money and thus will be able to pay my bills! I went to a good temp agency last week but they haven't been able to find anything for me yet. Hopefully they can get me some work sometime before my Christmas vacation with the Majdalis. That way I can have money in addition to helping Shannon's mother around the house.
Thanksgiving was nice here at Shannon's house. Crowded and loud, but nice. I do miss my family though. Christmas will probably be sad a couple times over the Hawaii vacation, but it will be fun and I'll be with Shannon so I'll cope. I don't know if I'm going to be able to afford any Christmas presents this year. :-( Darn holidays!
Played D&D last weekend at Gailon's new place by Point Fermin. Very nice area! And it was cool to hang with Josh again. I'm glad he and Kristal decided to move back here. D&D was really fun although most of the time I was busy making a new character since they couldn't find my old one. Josh and I have brother characters. This coming Friday should be rad because it'll be an overnighter and Josh and I will actually get to play for more than an hour.
Well I am going to go eat some dinner because after all that work I am starved! So, peace out, Napoleon. |
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| "Hello again to all my friends!" |
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| 05:42pm 16/11/2006 |
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mood: restless music: Muse- Knights of effing Cydonia!!!
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Just got finished blowing the cobwebs off this journal thing. Damn. I can barely breathe with all the dust flying around!!!
I am looking for a job, preferably not too far away from Lomita, preferably over $9 an hour, preferably fulltime. If anybody can help me out that would be appreciated.
I've been given a few phone numbers to call for different jobs, and one of the numbers I tried was for a “cabinet finisher” position. I called them up yesterday and was able to make an appointment for today at 2:00 PM. The lady gave me the Los Angeles address and I looked it up on mapquest immediately after I got off the phone. Turned out the place was in Watts!!! :-) I called a few people I trust for advice and decided to check the place out. So today at 1:20 I took the 110 freeway and got off in Watts, California to see about this job. Boy! It was an exciting experience. There were people standing around on the sides of the road, there were bars on all the windows, three police cars and an ambulance drove by me, and when I got to the place it was a run-down warehouse with a loading dock that had a barbed wire fence around it. Needless to say, I don’t want to be a “cabinet finisher” that badly. I turned around and went home. Wasted some gas, but it was fun!!!!
But seriously, I’m looking other places and doing other things to find a job, so hopefully things will pan out soon. Wish me luck!!!
On a completely different note, things with Shannon are going excellent! We are very happy and we’re making plans for a future. I love her very much and she’s been a tremendous help to me these past two years. :-) Big kiss sweetheart!!!
Watch the movie Shaolin Soccer. WATCH THE MOVIE SHAOLIN SOCCER! WATCH THE MOVIE SHAOLIN SOCCER!!! You will not regret it. If you don't LOVE the movie I will refund all your money! (And by that I mean punch you in the crotch because you're lame!) It's one of my new favorites. (Over the Hedge deserves an honorable mention as well. Maybe I'll review the both of them some time.)
That’s it for now. Will definitely try not to let this journal get so dusty from now on.
P.S. Hope everyone enjoys my journal's new look! Thanks to Shannon the HTML Genius I think I have the coolest looking livejournal on the web!!! Haha! Suckers! |
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